I am so fat and ugly and minging and disgusting and huge and horrible looking in every possible way.
I think i hate myself.
I wish i would just stop eating altogether...but i couldn't even manage that if i really wanted to.
Half of my clothes don't fit me properly.
I really don't understand how my boyfriend can bear to touch me with my clothes on leave alone anything else.
Just knowing that my belly and legs are there makes me feel sick and sad and my throat goes tight.
Its my own fault, and i know i seem self centred and attention seeking writing this blog.
I do like to be told nice things this is true, even when i hardly believe them but im not looking for compliments becasue i know the truth, i always have.
I wish i never had to go out or see anyone...or rather anyone see me.
Constantly trying to stand up straight, breathe in a little, just so people don't notice as much.
I know that to be keep weight off im going to have to stop eating the things i love and will struggle with this for the rest of my life.
The thought of knowing that i am more than likely going to be grotesque until i die is insurmountable.
I suck.