Yes, that's right last night i was so insanely drunk...iv taken to the 'apology rounds' to practically everyone i spoek to becasue i can't really remember what i said to be honest.
It's not even as if i did anything really bad...just the fact that i got so drunk i cant remember everything i said, when i really don't get like that anymore.
Grrr so disapointed in myself.
Oh well it's all over now...but i stress to you all-
don't mix your drinks where cider and whisky are concerned.

HA! no i don't really talk like that.
To be honest im in quite a brilliant mood.
As it was the dreaded valentines day yesterday, which i don't so much actually dread because i'm a romantic at heart (gheyness lol), i don't know...maybe it's the fact i get a little jealous that i don't have someone to fuss over me etc.
Henceforth, i commenced on a rather purse beating shopping trip with my friend Sam.
My reasoning for this splashing out, was that if there is no one else to spoil me then i might as well do it myself.
Indeed later on i did get a little miserable and fell asleep after 'Ashes to ashes' (which by the way is excellent).
Mother has oh yes, she has left the building until sunday, however i am on brother watch for the entire weekend.
So today i ventured out to Porthcawl, lovely clean sea air yumm
My friend and i bought some terribly over priced food from the chip shop and had a stroll like.
This evening- saw a bit of Mr. Nicholas Hoult on Johnathan Ross. He is more good looking in real life i find...as sometimes (due to his perfect skin, jammy sod) tends to make him look like a manequin. But we can't deny his incredible bone structure can we??
Oh and i had chinese, which was lovely.
Things are going good...excluding the process of school work.which hasn't even began yet.
Urgh!!! WHY??!!!
I have 'Regeneration' to start and finish by Monday, yes i am a tool and should have started it ealrier i know.
Also french, history (let's not even discuss that), although no performing arts as we haven't even been alocated parts yet. usless i tell you, usless!!!
Out tomorow night, should be good, totally excited...mind you i have to get through work in the first place. Which is crap becasue i really want to pull a sicky becasue i am suffering with a sore throat (again), but can't complain as im going out drinking tomorow night and always feel bad having a day off work anways.
See angelic really aren't I?
Hehe.

Off for a spot of tea and some biscuits i rekon.
:]

I'm so tired and drained.
There's so much bitchyness in my friendship group, im absolutley shatered, panicking about UCAS already and listening to people's problems is getting me down.
Next week's half term will be lovely.
Lie in's etc.
Also in treating myself next week for being alone on Valentines day im going to have my hair dyed and cut...all the blonde will be gone babyeee!!!
It's starting to look yellow.
I have lots of french and english work...i am determined to finish Regeneration if it kills me!!

Started back the gym yesterday...was good to actually be taking some action im planning to loose over a stone by june. Which i don't think is excessive
i jsut need some motivation and help of people like.
im not trying to over exaggerate and say im like obese or anything, but i do need to loose some...after always having problems with it.
im such a fussy eater.

Torchwood tonight woop
:D

Okay so maybe i shouldnt be thinking about things too hard in my current state- rather drunk, but i am.
Why am i the one feeling bad about breaking up with my boyfriend???
Basically, the last few weeks of our relationship was crap- He accused me of cheating ...in front of him!!!
Screamed and swore at me down for no reason and was abit of a jerk to be honest.
So, i ended it.
But he's such a sweet lvoing and caring and kind guy i feel like it's my fault. Reading one of his myspace quizzes just now and he's saying that he's had his heartbroken and that his ex doesn't miss him blah blah blah.
Ofcourse i bloody miss what we had...becasue when we were happy it was great, we just grew apart i guess.
I certainly did not break anyones heart...if it's broken then he did it himself.
And well yer that may make me sound like a total cow, and too tuff, But what do you expect for a girl thats been heartbroken and let down so many times herself.
You have to start protecting yourslef at somepoint, don't you??

I don't know the whole thing is messed up.
And although i said being single was ok before, yer it is but then on the other hand its CRAP!
I don't neccessarily want a relationship, or a F*** buddy, i just miss the romantic couple things, having someone to talk to who doesn't judge you, makes you laugh, loves you for everything you are- not all the things you're not.
To be perfectly honest i really cant be bothered to go out and the 'pull' as such....its a pessimistic view but all good things come to an end, and seeminlgy i as i havn't found the right person yet...nothing's going to work.
Do i need extra baggage when uni is like only just over a year away?
I think that i am pefectly capabale of being on my own, maybe im just being a little spoilt in wanting everything i cant have.
But everyone does that from time to time, right?

Besides the way i feel right now...i don't see why anyone would want me anyway...